Sneaky... Very Sneaky.

It seems like I only blinked and two weeks evaporated before I even had time to reflect on them. I really dove into planning my Voices in Holocaust Literature unit for the ELA 30-1's. I am passionate about the issues in this unit and more importantly, I want my students to be well prepared for their diploma exam. I am also wrapping up units with my Social 10-1'S and ELA 20-2's- both are completing major assignments.

I am a firm believer in formative assesment and have planned all of my units to be heavily formative with summative evaluation at the end after several peer-review or teacher-student workshops. I am paying for this now as I will be drowning in evaluation for the next two weeks. It seems like I spend every waking moment working on lesson planning or evaluation. This weekend I went to visit my girlfriend (the one whose grandmother is dying of brain cancer)and spent the whole time reading and commenting on student journals.I also went to visit my own grandmother and spent a lot of that time re-reading the novel I am teaching.

I just finished a round of anti-biotics to get over some inconvenient virus and I need to take better care of myself. I am well aware of the relationship between leisure time and mental/physical wellness but it doesn't change what I need to get done here or how many people I have to please. I want my students to feel that they are valued, I want their parents to believe I am teaching, and I want my mentor teacher to see creativity and know-how, and I want EVERYONE to see that I work hard. Yet every time I am temtped to become bitter about this "life-sucking" practicum I can't help but blame myself. Who I'm really trying to impress is me. I know I could rely more heavily on external resources but I instinctively opt for my own ideas. I want to find my own creative potential and offer my students personal and inspirational lessons.

What I need to do now is re-adjust my scales. I need to bring the priorities in my personal life back into balance. I need to curb my ambition for the sake of my health, my relationships, and the longevity of my career. I need to re-direct my energy towards integrating outside resources into my creative vision. I also need to take time to appreciate the small successes I am having. The students have matched my ambition with their own creativity and hard work and the results have been amazing.